JUST REALIZED #2 - JOKES ARE MEANT TO BE FUNNY

The line between joking and unconsciously humiliating is thin. Someone could have the funniest ,well-intentioned joke in the world, but if it makes the other person uncomfortable, it's considered boundary crossing behaviour and thus a 'no go'.

Manipulation occurs when they shift the focus away from the problem their boundary-crossing behaviour and onto you. When the underlying purpose is to make you doubt your sanity by assessing your character, in order to manipulate you, rather than simply saving their own ass when they're called out, it's gaslighting which is a sort of manipulation. Manipulation occurs unintentionally when people are unable to accept responsibility for the consequences of their boundary-crossing behaviour on others. Their defense mechanism will unconsciously shift the blame for the problem to the other person's 'oversensitivity.'

When you reprimand them, depending on their maturity/awareness level, they may be able to apologize. A real "I was only joking" would feel empathetic rather than disempowering.

Biased individuals often hide their genuine thoughts and attitudes because they are afraid of being judged. They only exhibit bias when the norms in a certain environment clearly indicate that it is OK to do so. They require something in their immediate surroundings to communicate that it is okay to exhibit their bias openly. People's perceptions of social norms – unspoken laws of acceptable behaviour – in the immediate situation appear to be influenced by mockery comedy.

People sometimes just want to make other people laugh. We all want to have a good time. It makes me happy. It's the most effective treatment. So why not tell that sexist, racist, Islamophobic or homophobic joke again?

Because sexist jokes, no matter who tells them, are a type of sexism. Racist humor is a type of racism. Homophobic humor is a kind of homophobia. These jokes are significant because they have the power to influence our views and actions and everyone that hears the joke is reminded of a stereotypes, it's #kidogosad🙁

When sexist, racist, religious, homophobic, and other group-stereotyping jokes are told, a member or ally of the target group may feel trapped: they can either laugh along with everyone else and be complicit in the harm done, or they can raise their objection openly, killing the happy mood and being ostracized for lacking a sense of humor. This trap may cause many of us to remain silent rather than seize the opportunity to stop biases from being perpetuated.

Interrupting bias can be difficult, especially when it feels like a public confrontation or when the relationship has clear power imbalances. Preparing ahead of time can help in situations when emotions are likely to run high.

"It's just a joke" no it's not. You are a joke- "lol just kidding"

This is an unavoidable, yet painful, component of being a social creature. However, apologizing for saying the incorrect thing necessitates a different type of apology than apologizing for spilling coffee on a stranger's pocketbook or being late for work. When you make an offensive remark or make an insensitive joke, the wound is inside, making the healing process more difficult. You need to ask yourself whether it’s a joke or its sexist, or racist or are you shaming a person. Wait I have a joke from unijokes : What should you do if your dishwasher breaks down? You hit her. GET IT ? The dishwasher is a woman, not a machine. The literal punchline's violence assures that she returns to her 'work' in the kitchen, where she belongs.

The 'joke' that I gave is an example of disparagement humour, which is humour that ridicules, stereotypes, or denigrates a person or a group of people. Sexist, homophobic, transphobic, and racist jokes are based on the implicit assumption that the audience will understand the stereotypes that create the joke's premise, and that discriminatory stereotyping is not to be taken seriously. The language of the joke provides a framework that justifies the display of prejudice against women and encourages sexism tolerance, as language has the capacity to do. A sexist joke's semantics are structured in such a way that it communicates women's denigration while also trivializing sex discrimination under the pretense of harmless amusement.

The next time someone cracks an offensive joke about you or anyone ask them to explain the joke because you want to know what's funny as well. it's funny when they can't explain their joke!